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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Christmas Movie Marathon: The Aftermath

  • A Christmas Story: Simply the best. There’s really no competition. “In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.” Every line of narration in this thing is pure gold.
  • Love Actually: Waited fifteen years to finally watch this, and should have waited fifteen more. I feel like you needed to be sixteen or younger in 2003 to think this is anything but a nonsense contraption of a movie. (It’s like the Infinity War of rom-coms, only with less-believable characters and situations.)
  • The Year Without a Santa Claus: Heresy I know, but I prefer this to the Rankin/Bass Rudolph. The stop-motion work is pretty sophisticated for 1974 —the lighting and camera movements are impressive— and it’s unintentionally perverted and weird in places, so I love it.
  • Home for the Holidays: HftH is technically a Thanksgiving movie, but when a film has both Holly Hunter *and* Robert Downey Jr.? Gimme. It’s Peak Rehab RDJ, so he’s manic as fuck, but director Jodie Foster lets him roll with it to great effect. Bonus points for casting a My So-Called Life era Claire Danes as Holly’s daughter, a perfect pairing that didn’t get enough screen time.
  • Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang: More RDJ, this time at the beginning of his career reboot. Like everything Shane Black has ever written, it’s most impressive on the first viewing, and doesn’t hold up as well over time. In retrospect, it’s most notable for being the only movie ever made where noted scene-stealer RDJ has every scene stolen from him… Val Kilmer runs away with the movie any time he’s on screen. (I miss funny Val Kilmer. Real Genius was my jam in high school.)
  • Jesus Christ Superstar: Hey, it’s closer to being Christmasy than Die Hard! And Murray Head cracks me up. (I loved One Night In Bangkok as a kid.)
  • Olive the Other Reindeer: Dan Castellaneta as a deeply disturbed postman, Joe Pantoliano as a cranky penguin trying to make a buck, and Drew Barrymore as a well-intentioned, very dumb dog named Olive who allows a flea with a hearing problem to convince her that she’s the “the other reindeer” that Santa needs to make his delivery run.
  • A Charlie Brown Christmas: Man, that Lucy is one huge bitch.
bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls
bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls

There will always be someone trying to fix you.

People don’t like the idea of nothingness. It’s why they make cities and babies and gods; they need to fill the spaces in and around themselves to ward off the creeping sense that the only meaning in anything is that which they’ve put into it.

So when you flatly accept that you’re nothing, that you are an emptiness that exists only to be filled, it’s like admitting you’re everything that frightens them. You are failure, and hopelessness, and the void. Your embrace of your own insignificance is, to their ears, a grating dissonance; your life sings in the wrong key, and they need to tune you up.

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bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls

Anonymous asked:

Congrats on recognizing the obvious: that females who crave abuse are mentally unfit. So many d/s blogs try to make out that they're "normal" when it's very clear that their behavior is so outside the norm it's not even in the ball field. Not judging, of course, it takes all kinds, but never pretend that you don't belong with them.

bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls answered:

Many things to talk about here, in no certain order.

1. I’m responding to this because you caught me in a moment where your comments intersected with some of my current thinking, and you managed to keep your contempt-to-politeness ratio somewhat reasonable. Good show.

2. This isn’t a “d/s blog”. Nor is it about BDSM, DDlg, or whatever random assemblage of letters people are using to organize and label the things that make them go “ouch!” in the night. This blog claims no tribal affiliation, nor is it representative of anything more than the perversely curious and philosophically flexible thoughts of one man and his merry band of compulsively masturbating followers.

3. Lots of chicks mean lots of things when they claim to “crave abuse”. Some of them fetishize the symbology of it, touching it lightly through the ritualized abstractions of consensual kink. Some want to (re)create specific scenarios that feel real in the moment, but are actually funhouse mirror representations of cruelty, devoid of the gaslighting and threats that make real abuse so insidious and detrimental to them. Some of them mean to reclaim and repurpose a collection of deeply ingrained, broken assumptions and behaviors, and in so doing, bring a sense of purpose and order to an often cluttered, chaotic inner life.

There’s far more than that, of course, which is my point: you have to listen to what a woman is actually trying to say, and not just the words she’s using. They are girls, and they contain worlds.

4. “Mentally unfit” for what? For average sexual relationships with conventional men based upon traditional expectations? Yeah, they’ll fuck those up most every time; they’ll either attach themselves to the kind of smirking asshole they’ll learn to quietly despise and fear, or they’ll give in to the relentless sales pitch of some should-have-been-friendzoned do-gooder who will waste years of both their lives vainly striving to fix the unfixable.

Do you mean unfit for work? I’ll grant you, there aren’t a lot of captains of industry writing to me, begging to have their minds fucked; based solely on my anecdotal evidence, there may be a cunt-specific glass ceiling standing between my girls and corporate advancement. Then again, I’ve got a strikingly diverse audience; it could be that all those hustling sugar babies, picket fence bimbos, kinky little camgirls, cuckqueaned soccer moms, submissive file clerks, academic feminist hypocrities, artsy hipster fuckdolls, corrupted daddy’s girls, and service-industry sluts just don’t care about getting ahead when they could be giving it. Perhaps they don’t give a shit about being fit.

Outside of that, I don’t see them as any more mentally suspect than the rest of the human race, most of whom foster fucked-up ideas about sex and power while (mostly) managing to make it through life without people questioning their dubious normality.

5. Pretend I don’t belong with them? Not a chance. I’m right here in the mud beside them, in our baptismal of filth, dunking their squealing little faces into the darkness for which they yearn.

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bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls
bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls

You’re So Sweet

When I look at those wide eyes and that adorable smile, I want to smother you in a pile of soft pillows and marshmallow fluff. I want to strangle you with a garrote made from your own lovely locks. I want you to fall for me… out of my lap and on to the floor, to be stepped on and booted around like a discarded candy wrapper.

mindfuckery reblog