Essays and Bad Ideas

Cranky Old Man Shit: Emotional Rescue

littlepainslut:

It’s starting to annoy me that people want to ‘save’ me. I can’t be saved, I’m past that. I can face the fact that I’m nothing but a worthless little cunt and that is all I will ever be. I will never be special and I don’t deserve to be. I deserve to be hurt and abused while you look down at me like I’m some kind of stray dog you feel sorry for. Please stop trying to ‘help’ me, you can’t.

littlepainslut gets it better than most. Having been a White Knight in a past life, I understand the urge to reach down and try to fix the broken things you encounter… but it’s better for everyone involved if you don’t.

First, because no matter what you do, she will ultimately “save” herself… or she won’t. People outside her skin can nurture, crush, support, or abuse her, but they can’t magically alter her own valuation of her fundamental, adult self. She has to *want* it, and if she does, she’ll ask for your help when she needs it. You won’t *impose* it on her, no matter how dominating your domination or theoretically pure your intentions.

Second, because who the hell decided she needs saving at all? Life is about developing coping mechanisms, and sometimes a girl is lucky or insightful enough to develop some that get her off. If you enjoy pushing her buttons, push them until she can barely walk straight, and enjoy the fireworks. Don’t waste everyone’s time trying to help her out of the maze in her mind, when exploring mazes is her favorite hobby.