I’m at 9,000 followers. Not bad, for a blog that’s as much a psychological and literary experiment as it is a porn dump.

To my fangirls: I don’t write you back as often as I should; I know this. But it doesn’t mean you don’t matter. Well, okay, most of you are trash who really don’t matter in any meaningful way, but thanks to my situational benevolence, you matter to me. You know what I mean? I guess I’m trying to say that, even though you’re a clutch of morally compromised cunts, you’re good people. If I could, I’d line you all up and walk down the row, patting your heads and slapping your faces. I mean that, sincerely.

As for those who keep sweetly, pitifully whining for more: if you want me sinking more time into this stuff, you bitches need to step up your game. Send me your money and compromising photos. Give me some incentive. Do you have any fucking idea how much mental effort and marijuana it takes to come up with this stuff? There’s an infinite amount of sex on Tumblr, but there’s only one me.

Respect the work, ladies… respect the work.