sillysexystupid-deactivated2020:
That’s kind of a really creepy thing to say ._.
Nah, it’s just a little creepy. But I can fix it.
You’re beautiful and I’ll love you forever. As long as you never change; never bloat, never sag, never wrinkle, never flake, never stubble, never gray, never stoop, never sicken, never weaken, and never, ever dull. Photographs of your pretty, faceless body are all I need to know that you’re everything I’ll ever require from a woman; it’s perfect, the way I don’t have to look in your eyes and see your disappointment. It should always be this way between us, with you only speaking when you have something sexual to say, and always posed provocatively when I take the time to look at you. Of course, if I were a teenaged girl, I’d be writing weird, sexually disturbing fanfic about One Direction right now, but since I’m a guy on the internet, I’m here making you vaguely uncomfortable instead. This is the story we’ll tell our grandkids about, I just know it!
See, it was just missing a few details.