Essays and Bad Ideas

A Guide To Cranky Old Men #1

(I realize that many of you are emotional dunces, and don’t have the first clue how to talk coherently with any adult male, much less one who scares you a little. So I figured I’d start compiling a series of helpful tips that will make our interactions as painless as possible. For me.)

TIP : If you want to talk to me and you’re a cunt, just say so. Otherwise, I’m going to waste my time politely conversing with you like you’re a person or something, and hell, that benefits no one. I don’t want to inflict the more… presumptuous aspects of my personality on innocent strangers, so that means you need to tell me when you’re not.

Innocent, I mean. It’s kind of a given that you’re strange.