[CONTENT ADVISORY: This was written November 8th, 2016. I was not in a good mood. You’ve been warned.]
“I can’t believe things worked out this way.”
“Yeah, it’s crazy.”
“It’s just– I never really believed he had a chance.”
“No one did. A trust-fund brat with the soul of a used-car salesman isn’t fit to lead a nation.”
“I’m just so scared. I mean, what if— agghhh!”
“Finish that thought and I’ll hit you again, stupid. You know damned well I’m the only thing that scares you.”
“I-I’m sorry!”
“Mm. You’d better be. You don’t have time to worry about January when you’ve already fucked up November.”
“Oh God. Oh God! What did I do…?”
“Stop crying! Or, you know what, keep crying! I don’t fucking care. Just stop pretending you’re in shock. You knew what you were doing in that voting booth. You know what you did.”
“I thought you wanted— I did what I thought—!”
“How many times do I have to tell you that your thoughts are shallow, stupid, and worthless?”
“You tell me every day!”
“Exactly. Every goddamned day. And yet, what do you do the second my back is turned? You start thinking, and shit goes sideways. Every goddamned time.”
“But you— my wallpaper— you put his face on my phone, on my laptop…”
“You’re a dumb cunt. I figured having a smug, sneering, shitty old man staring at you all day would keep you in the proper frame of mind.”
“… you bought me that MAGA hat, made me wear it…”
“Red is your color. And your hair looked like crap that day.”
“…dressed me up like his wife…”
“Like a Eurotrash sugar baby? Yeah, of course I did, it’s a good look.”
“…those men, at the campaign rally, the stuff you let them do to me…”
“That’s on you. I have to seek out the worst kind of people just to find someone willing to fuck you.”
“Y-you told me to do it!”
“I certainly did not.”
“You DID!”
“…”
“…you did… you told me…”
“I told you to go vote, and remember to do the right thing. But what did you do?”
“…”
“If I have to ask again, your head’s going in the toilet, and you’ll be answering until I stop seeing bubbles.”
“I… I did the wrong thing.”
“You sure did, genius… you sure did.”