Essays and Bad Ideas

Mea Maxima Culpa

The American Right is deeply disturbed, but it’s time the American Left copped to our part in making them so. We spent the 1990s gaslighting them over Bill and Hillary Clinton, successfully convincing the body politic that up was down, black was white, and wrong was perfectly okay if you were cool about it.

I can’t help but think about the shit we fed them, and then pause to savor the flavor that currently dominates my own palate; it’s a pretty gross way to learn a pretty gross lesson.

  • “That wasn’t a lie, that’s just the way he talks.”
  • “She was horny and desperate, and he was famous. You know she was asking for it.”
  • “There’s nothing strange or inappropriate about a President’s unelected family being injected into major legislative efforts and foreign policy.”
  • “This special prosecutor is a partisan hack who’s chasing a fake story!”
  • “That wasn’t a lie, because it sounds true.”
  • “Who cares about shady business deals where the family lost money?”
  • “Rape? Don’t make me laugh! They just want to be on TV and file lawsuits.”
  • “Why do we keep talking about stuff that might have happened years ago? What about the economy right now?”
  • “That wasn’t a lie, he was only defending himself.”
  • “She’s so brave, standing by her man like that, not letting those greedy little bitches take them down.”
  • “All men are like that, so who cares?”
  • “We’re so lucky to have a President with a woman in his life who’s even better than he is.”
  • “That wasn’t a lie, because being in charge is fun.”

At some point, we really need to stop doing this to one another.