And now today’s freshman orientation tour brings us yet another fortunate opportunity to observe real work being done here in our research labs.
Let’s observe as the lepidopterist dons his gloves and examines this lovely moth. As you can see, he’s probing the creature’s reproductive system, while restricting its movements for its own safety. One little known fact about moths is tha—
Hm? You in the back, with the hair… what was the question?
Oh, of course. Yes, he’s using his penis because, well, why not use it? We here in the Biology department are all conservationists at heart, but it’s important to remember that no matter how passionate we are in our study and appreciation of these fascinating insects, a bug is still just a bug. They breed quickly and live short, hectic lives; as individual specimens, they’re of limited value.
Now, if you’ll all follow me this way, I can show you some of the amazing work we’re doing with centipedes…