Okay, all kinds of thoughts here.
1. Daddy dom != abusive dude. I have certain pet peeves about the way some ddlg people —usually the younger ones— want to sell it as entirely wholesome and free of (entertainingly) creepy implications, but the bottom line is that there are daddy doms out there who are purely supportive sensation providers and caregivers. Not every girl’s definition of “daddy” includes constant criticism, bursts of pain, and secretive, shameful sex. (Just the fun ones.)
2. Unless your girlfriend is way more fucked-up than you can handle —and let me warn you right now, she could be— then she’s not looking for an “abuse relationship”. She’s looking for someone she trusts to turn the mechanisms of emotional and physical violence upon her in a way that both preserves her ability to function as a person and brings a sense of place and purpose to her messy inner life. (Also, she wants to feel like a sick, depraved cunt, so there’s that.)
3. Let’s forget the little bitch for a second —don’t worry, she’s accustomed to being forgotten— and ask an important question: what are you into, man? No matter how much you sincerely want to try, this is something you can’t fake ‘til you make. I mean, do you love this girl? Do you have it in you to weaponize the secrets she’s surrendered? Are you willing to look past the filter of affection to find flaws and failings you’d normally ignore? How would becoming That Guy make you feel about yourself? Are you capable of being That Guy without turning into an insufferable, humorless douchenozzle? Before you even start figuring out how to give her what she needs, you’ve gotta be sure you have it to give. Both for your own well-being, and…
4. …because a huge part of what motivates your girl is a desire to experience her version of the truth, manifested outside her head; she wants to feel exposed and seen by someone who can take in all of her ugliness, acknowledge it for what it is, and accept her anyway. Whether her man praises her or punishes her or just scrubs her face with his asshole, to her, the important thing is that she’s not being rejected for revealing what she is. If you’re not prepared to share her truth, it’s just not gonna work. No matter how fancy her brand of stupid might be, I promise, her twitchy little chick-nose will sniff out any insincerity in a heartbeat.
5. Seriously, don’t try to turn yourself into something you’re not for a girl. Especially not this kind of something.
6. Always listen to her. Vacuum up every word that falls out of her twisted little head. But when it comes to her advice? Consider the source. ‘Cause “go check out Tumblr and figure it out, champ” is a pretty shitty suggestion on her part. Of course, off the top of my head, I can’t actually think of a better place to send you, but still… there are a million metric assloads of nonsense and bullshit piled up in this corner of Tumblr —a lot of it generated by yours truly— and sifting through it all for rational, actionable information is a helluva task. Take your time figuring things out, and if you feel like she’s rushing you, just tell the fucking twat to sit down and shut up while you’re thinking. It’ll help, I promise.