anewsubstory:

bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls:

anewsubstory:

greedyagain:

gay-things-and-stuff:

gay-things-and-stuff:

caroldanvers-ismywife:

How do I explain to my family that Brie Larson can hip thrust 400lbs without making it sound like the gayest fact I’ve ever learnt

HoW!?

Damn.

I can hip thrust 250lbs, does that make me 60% as cool as Brie Larson?

I’ll say this much: watching you do 250 is far more impressive than her 400, simply because she looks like a grown woman lifting weights, and you look like a precocious 8 year old making miracles happen.

Why does that feel like a compliment

1. Because it’s a compliment.
2. Because all weird little girls want to be miracle babies.
3. Because I’m just so damned sweet.