How can I be more pathetic, for you to notice me, and become one of your girls?

1. Take a few moments and think of the handful of things you’ve always told yourself you’d never do for a man. (Again.) The things that you scoff at other girls for doing. The things that would make your loved ones look at you and ask, “What’s wrong with you?” The things that you fear will mark you forever.
2. Offer to do those things for me.
3. If I accept, do them.
4. GOTO 1

That’ll probably do the trick.