this just in: u can compliment me w/out mentioning drinking my urine
You’re a very funny person! I wish I could make you laugh, too… so hard that you’ll pee yourself and I— wait, no.
Your fashion sense is quite striking! I think about stripping off your vintage clothing and using your shoe to drink— dammit.
Your musical tastes are varied and intriguing! I’d love to watch you dance, twisting and bouncing, squirming as if you need to— okay, that’s weird.
This is harder than it looks.