Spitswap Island

Anyone who wonders why I’m watching this brilliantly executed, profoundly stupid show, look no further.

Molly-Mae is roughly 3x as hot when someone’s spitting in her mouth.

• So it’s interesting that the show silently booted Sherif from the villa for booting Molly in the cooch and referring to it as a “cunt-punt”. Interesting in the sense that no one would ever remember Sherif otherwise…
• …and that in the process of figuring out what happened, some of the show’s rules were re-publicized. Some seem to be a reaction to all the drunkenness last year —a two drink limit, apparently— but some are more manipulative. Like the ban on masturbation, which is sadistically clever… as everyone around this part of Tumblr knows, you put a bunch of horny twentysomethings on a orgasm denial program, and all kinds of crazy decisions are gonna get made.
• How have the producers managed to make me pity Anton? Eldritch magic, I suspect.
• Maura is what would result if Krysten Ritter fucked the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
• Tommy is what would result if something really dumb fucked something really dumb with pretty eyes.
• Lucie continues to look like she woke up this morning feeling like P. Diddy. If Joe were hormonally capable of growing one, I’d expect to hear her giggle “I really like your beard.”