Immature? Maybe. Chickenshit? Definitely.
But at least you’re trying to make your dreams come true. At least you know it’s your job to be available. You know what you want, and you’re willing to take hesitant, cowardly steps to get it. That’s something.
And besides… you’re clearly a dummy, so you’ll probably fuck it up, get caught leaving the note, and be forced to put on your big-girl panties and admit you like him.
These things have a way of working themselves out.