Be prepared to prove that you’re worth my time, ‘cause the world is full of broken things, and my day only has 24 hours. If you want any of them spent on your ridiculous ass, then I’d suggest you:
- Become very familiar with this blog. Even within its fictions are fragments of truth to be mined.
- Bring your best sales pitch. Of course, you’re a cunt, and have thus never bothered to develop one… consider doing so your first step toward becoming a better you. Show me who you are and what you can do for me… think of it as an audition and dance for me, bitch. (Then meet me on the couch in my office for the real test.)
- Be single. I’ve slowly learned that my kinks require extensive access to a girl’s life, and yours is the only privacy I want to invade. (My creepiest excesses are opt-in affairs.)
- Be patient. I know, you’ve been assured that you’re very cute and should therefore be instantly gratified, but turns out, nothing’s as pretty as a track record of sweetly and enduringly doing as you’re told… if you’re not prepared to take the time to win me over, then you’ve already lost.
- Impress me. Don’t ask… it’s your job to figure out how.