I recently reblogged How To Get Attention, so I won’t annoy everyone with it again. Let me instead answer with a description of the three most successful attempts so far.
- Read one of my stories. Tell me how awesome it is. Realize you’re in love with me a week later. Throw away you’re entire life to be with me. Make cute noises when you sleep.
- Accept being ignored for four or five years. Write something devastatingly sad and lovely and pathetic. Beg me to have you. Then beg me to keep you, every day for two or three months, until I finally figure out I’m fond of you. Spend a lot of time being shouted at for being an idiot, because I’m fond of you. Work hard. Cry when I watch a video of your thighs jiggling. Laugh when I make fun of how much you cry.
- Whine to me over a couple years about about how love is bullshit, until one day I decide to show you different. Spend two or three months denying the obvious. Show that you know how to be the goodest of girls and the hostess with the mostess. Hunt for ghosts with me on Halloween. Sit on the floor and kiss my hand while you watch Disney. Pout when I make you try Pho. Cry at the airport, every time.