Questions and Answers

Would you rather have sex on a beach, on a plane, or in the bathroom of a fancy restaurant? Have you ever?

None of the above, really.

I mean, the beach would be fine, but not really my thing… I’ve had my chances and passed every time. A plane? Hell no. All I want out of a flight is to smell as little of the person sitting next to me as possible. And while a meal can certainly be foreplay, the last thing I want to do immediately after dinner is sneak into Gordon Ramsay’s toilet for a quickie.

With that said, one night in ‘94, I did slip into the service tunnel behind an Olive Garden in downtown Pasadena, and fucked a girl under the gaze of a security camera. But don’t judge me for that.

Olive Garden wasn’t quite as awful back then.