First, allow me to be slightly gatekeeper-y for a moment and suggest that if you have spent years unable to untangle the knot of an idea as central to the conversation as “safewords”, then you’ve probably got a lot of homework to do before hanging around this blog. You must first understand why the rules exist before you try to subvert them.
With that said, and in the simplest possible terms: If she says “no”, he will stop. She doesn’t want him to stop. She just wants to say “no”. She wants the freedom to say it, and have it not bother anyone or upset things or derail the evening or leave her empty and disappointed. She wants to exercise her voice, hear the sound of that word coming out of her mouth, relish the expression of something so small and powerful… and have it be okay. She wants to ride the rollercoaster, scream her earnest terror out to God, and then giggle ecstatically when her feet are back on solid ground.
There, now ya know. Time to hit the books.