I’ve always been with men who take charge and the one I’m with now has never been the more demanding/dominant in a relationship. When relinquishing control in the bedroom, he slips easily into control. I’m trying to get him to understand I’m looking for a lifestyle not just well kinky sex I guess. Will he be the one I submit to or if not going about finding me a daddy/dom and what is best for me ?

I know girls like you tend to worry about being “too much”, and it’s usually self-defeating nonsense. But when it comes to looking for lifestyle dominance that isn’t going to spiral into a nightmare of shattered expectations and catastrophic errors in judgement? You’re asking for an exceptional man, and you’re asking a lot of him.

Which isn’t to suggest you shouldn’t try, because he may find ownership has its rewards. But bear in mind that in trying to transition from bedroom kink to pervasive, invasive, continuous control, he’ll be making an enormous change in how he views both you and himself. It’s not a switch to be flipped, or a skill to be acquired… it’s a fundamental shift in perspective, and one he needs to buy into whole-heartedly.

Expect the process to take some time. Expect it to be start-and-stop. Expect to be frustrated.

And be damned sure you’re worth it.