Questions and Answers

i feel used and unloved by my bf after sex. it’s been 2 years since we are together and it has been around 2 years since we have sex.

The problem is that when we have rough sex I feel used every time when we are done and I don’t know why I can’t orgasm either. When the sex is more gentle I feel loved and I can reach an orgasm. The thing is he prefers it more rough then me. I talked to him about it and he says that he loves me and he isn’t using me. I don’t know how to stop this feeling every time we play rough… any advices?

Sweetie, the only thing you need to stop is letting your tool of a boyfriend mistreat you. If a sexual act makes you feel unloved and used —and you’re not a broken little weirdo who gets off on feeling that way—then there’s no good reason to keep participating in that act… and no, “he likes it” isn’t a good reason. 

But more importantly, you’ve told him that he’s making you feel unloved and used, and his response was, essentially, “no I’m not.” Are you fucking kidding me? At best, he’s dismissing you and your experience… at worst, he’s trying to gaslight you into compliance. I can’t give you some sexy little rationalization for that, because nothing you’ve said indicates you signed up to have some self-serving dipshit abuse you. Being in a relationship with a kinky person does not obligate you to be kinky. 

This isn’t your problem to fix, kid.