How can I tell my boyfriend I was raped? The male who raped me told my boyfriend I cheated and I denied anything ever happened, but I want to tell him what really happened, but I’m terrified he will leave me.

Kiddo, why are you terrified he’ll leave you?

Someone assaulted you and then preemptively smeared you to put you on the defensive… that’s Acquaintance Rape 101, and you should be confident your man is smart enough to see that. You should be able to remind him of deviations in your behavior since the assault, and know that he was paying attention. It’s unfortunate that you misled him, but if he’s a mature adult, you should expect him to listen to you and understand that people make questionable decisions in the wake of trauma. You should feel assured that someone called “my boyfriend” is on your side, and wants to believe you.

So try to peek past the anxiety this whole situation has generated, and give your guy a good, hard look. Does he love you, and respect the ugly reality of being a woman in this world? If he does, then unburden yourself, and put the onus on him to be a caring human being.

And if he doesn’t? Ask yourself why you’re struggling to stay with someone who isn’t half the man you need.