Questions and Answers

I was wondering:do you always reblog the stereotypical Victoria secret photoshopped perfect little dolls because you like to mess with the minds of your will-bend-any-way-for-you-followers, or do you genuinely prefer women who look like that?

Multiple thoughts:

  1. If you’re asking if I like ogling conventionally hot girls… yes, yes I do. But I don’t get the “Victoria’s Secret” angle… I mean, my physical ideal is something close to Jenna Coleman, a pixie who could ride Adriana Lima like a koala hanging off Steve Irwin.
  2. Out of curiosity, I scrolled back to January 1st and casually counted. I found 95 photos/GIFs of pretty girls, 25 of which were Instagirls and glamor models. The rest were porn chicks covered in drool, and the many magical denizens of Tumblr’s once-majestic Hot Girl Forest. (A tragically delicate ecosystem, perpetually on the verge of collapse. #savethenipplewoods) Ideally, I’d like to make that more like 5 out of 95.
  3. Is there mind-messing involved? Well, c’mon… obviously. But not so much with my followers in general; it’s more like some of my selections are made to push the buttons of specific people who get all excited when I make them feel grossly inferior.
  4. Prefer for what purpose? I mean, the prettiest girl in the world is freakin’ Gollum to me if she isn’t an obedient little lapdog. (NOTE: Someday —perhaps many months in the future— someone is going to sign in to Tumblr, see this reference to Gollum, remember a conversation about being compared to him, and get very sad and very squirmy. I love setting traps. You’re welcome, Bug.)
  5. I like this whole “will-bend-any-way-for-you-followers” thing, though. I suddenly feel like Parker Posey in Dazed & Confused. Air raid, bitches!