Having just blocked a couple of dumbasses, I thought I’d mention for future reference: y’all can keep your bar-lowering shitbag apologia to yourselves.
The people in an earlier ask weren’t having kinky sex. They were having plain ol’ sex in an unfamiliar position. He knew it was hurting her. She asked him to stop and he pushed on. So she had to resort to a kink tool —her safeword—in the vain hope that her self-interested douchenozzle of a boyfriend would actually pay attention to the obvious distress that he was otherwise ignoring.
Consent can be complicated, but not in this context. And this guy has as acute an understanding of it as anyone else, which a fist up his asshole would promptly demonstrate. What he doesn’t understand is that his girlfriend is a human being, and her pain matters as much as his. And while it’s possible that this giant void in his understanding is deserving of a long, calm, reasoned, and inexplicably overdue exploration of the nuances of autonomy and responsibility, the woman he hurt doesn’t owe him one nanosecond of that shit.
As I said, if she wants to stick it out with him, that’s cool with me. Good for her. Fall on that grenade, girl! She seems like a capable grown-up, and she can put up with whatever she likes.
But no one needs to be making excuses for a dude who’s already making up his own. Quit running cover for unmistakable assholery.
Or do it on the posts of someone with more patience for the ongoing infantilization of entitled men.