Questions and Answers

is using your safeword with your partner, to see if they would actually stop abusive? or bad?

Is such a use of your safeword bad? No. But I think you might be using it badly.

If you truly think there’s a chance your partner is going to ignore a safeword, do not fuck with him. A safeword will do absolutely nothing to protect you from cruel intentions or indifference… it will only stop someone who already respects your safety and autonomy. 

(A safeword is not a prophylactic for untrustworthy men.)

With that said, if you’re someone who struggles to communicate during sex or a scene, it might make sense to give your safeword a dry run. But that’s a concern you should be sharing with him in advance, and he should be prepared to help you if you struggle expressing yourself… you’re practicing with your partner, not setting snares for him.