Use what you have… some of the shit you hate about yourself could be among your strongest attributes.
It may offend your expectations or sensibilities, but you owe it to yourself —and everyone else— to develop that shameful muscle and put it to doing useful work… there is no trophy at life’s end for Girl Who Best Hid Her Creepy/Annoying/Problematic Characteristics From The World. If you have some shitty part of you that could be special, don’t just throw it off Mount Taygetus ‘cause it’s a bit deformed… let it grow, bend it to your will, and set it to a purpose.
Or wait until you’re old, and you find yourself at the foot of the mountain, trying to raise the dead.
Speaking as a semi-successful necromancer, I’d recommend the former approach.