It was a little late when I got home, my boyfriend was very upset and he seemed even more upset to discover I walked all that way instead of calling him, I didn’t want to bother him and I could handle it by myself. He punished me but I still don’t understand why. I feel bad about it and I’m scared to ask about it because I don’t want to upset him further
Okay, so, what’s a “boyfriend”? Is this a guy you’re dating, your sexy-lovey-dovey-daddy-dom, or the owner of a fuckpig named You? Something else entirely? The answer would heavily influence my opinion.
But given who you’re asking, I’m going to assume this is a relationship where you expect to be punished, and you’re simply baffled by what’s happening with a particular punishment.
In that spirit… I detect that he’s mad about two different things, and I feel two different ways about them.
- He appears to have initially become “very upset” because you were a little slow to arrive. (“…late when I got home, my boyfriend was very upset and he seemed even more upset to discover I walked…”) That’s a bit odd to me. You obviously didn’t have an occasion scheduled or you would have called him… this was just a regular drive home. So on a night like any other, you were a little late, and he was very upset. Why is that? Was it something an emotionally mature adult would be very upset about?
- He also appears to be upset because he views your personal safety as his exclusive domain. Your car broke down —if he’s like most guys, he takes your car issues personally— and then you walked home in what I’m assuming was encroaching dark. In the future, you might consider —when making decisions within his domain— that it’s best to center his priorities over his comfort or convenience.
But the thing is, I’m far less interested with his agitation in that moment than I am with the environment in which you exist. You’re “scared” to ask for clarification because it might “upset him further.” That’s… problematic. Is living in dread your kink? You don’t sound like the type. You sound perplexed.
Here’s a bit of general advice: when you find yourself confused around an angry man, it suggests you’re in dangerous territory. Get your bearings and make very sure that’s where you want to be. Things can go sideways, quickly.