…but is it really his fault? Could it just be that there is something wrong with me.
Learn to disentangle the concepts of “origin” and “blame”. When you talk about “fault”, that’s what’s happening… you’re identifying the source of an issue, and then instinctively escalating that identification to an accusation.
It’s important to analyze and understand the things that make a difference in your life —”my father has never told me what to do or scolded me”— but assigning shame to the results of your analysis is entirely optional and up to you.
Similarly, why does this need to be a matter of something being wrong with you? You’re weird and probably lack functional role models for your weirdness… you’re living a life no one has taught you to live. Perhaps there is a wrong to be righted in your world, but then again, maybe you just need to spend some time thinking about ways to use what you are to get what you want.
The facts are facts; the rest is narrative. And you get to write it your own way.