What’s your theory behind it? Is it because these people have non-porn blog and don’t want to be associated with a nsfw blog, let alone one like yours (I mean that in a good way)? Is it because they are intimidated by your intelligent, deviant and sometimes brutal answers? Is it because they know you in real life and don’t want to oust themselves to you? Or is it You who chooses to answer only anonymous asks and ignore the rest? Also I get a feeling that it’s the same handful of people asking you these questions, what’s your guess? Also what do you think is the demographics (in terms of gender and sexual orientation) of your anons? —— I understand that the answers to all the questions will be your best guess, nevertheless, I am curious.)
I have noticed this for a while and have resisted asking but here we are…..
- I haven’t counted, but 90% is probably in the ballpark. That’s never seemed odd to me… I’ve been logged in to two other Tumblr accounts with large follower counts, and despite both being run by approachable, sweet girls, the vast majority of their asks were anons. (The ones that weren’t were mostly “I want to rape you, fuckpig” comments from dudes who actually thought that would hook them up.)
- Back in the days before we had DMs on Tumblr, I had lots more “signed” asks… but once there was a way to reach out to me without public exposure, most of the known entities turned to wholly private communication.
- In addition, known entities who are happy to be associated with me are more likely to just mention me in one of their posts, and get a response via reblog.
- Today, most of the non-anons I receive are preceded with “Please don’t post this…” They’re from people who want to talk, but are assiduously polite, and don’t want to just barge into my personal space.
- I also get the odd submission, but at this point, I’m extremely conservative about the photos I’ll post… I received a lovely one a couple weeks ago, for example, but a little speck of nipple can be perceived, and I’m not going to give Tumblr an excuse.
- If someone approaches me as a person with a name, I respond to them like a person. If someone approaches me as an anonymous nothing, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll be at least condescending in my response, if not full-on mean. And my audience loves it when I give myself permission to be a dick.
- RE: non-porn blogs… there’s something to that, and it doesn’t just apply to SFW folks. There are plenty of girls with sex/kink blogs out there who are hesitant to talk openly to me because they don’t want their followers lecturing them about their taste.
- In addition, the predictable behavior of men means that I am slightly more careful about posting signed asks. As soon as I reblog/answer someone, they inevitably start receiving shitty messages/asks from random assholes… I don’t like contributing to it.
- It’s also worth noting that a lot of people turn to me for advice about the doms they meet online, and as a rule, said doms are not terribly fond of this. (Most of these guys would be upset at their girls’ talking to anyone, but some of them are particularly unhappy when I’m the “anyone”.) To them, an anonymous ask often feels like less of a betrayal while seeking my counsel.
- RE: intimidation… Considering how many of my asks specifically mention “I’m afraid to approach you”, I’d say that’s definitely a factor. It’s one thing to think, “Oh, I want to be degraded and bullied by this awful man”, and another to actually experience it. (The fact that I don’t do that to known entities who haven’t asked for it doesn’t seem to matter.)
- I doubt any of my anons know me outside of Tumblr.
- RE: the same handful. There are undoubtedly people who go on ask-jags and pepper me with loads of questions, but it’s worth pointing out that what you see here is a mix of current asks and stuff I’ve pulled out of the depths of my overflowing inbox… in just the last few days, I’ve posted “new” asks from last weekend, six months ago, and a year ago. (There’s one in the queue from 2019.) Now, my fangirls tend to be die-hards, so it’s possible that it’s the same five chicks across the last seven years, but all signs point to it being more diverse than that.
- As for the demographics, that’s obviously a wild guess. Once upon a time, I’d have said it was 10:1, women to men, but since the pandemic, things are more like 5:1. (That and the fact that I’ve seen a giant uptick in asks from seemingly sincere but kink-clueless people has resulted in the “softening” of some of my content… the more men and newbies I have looking, the more I feel like I need to tread carefully.) There are transfolk of all types following me, and again, more women than men. I have a lesbian crowd out there, which seems to be split between girls with fantasies of horrible guys “fixing them”, and doms who feel a certain kinship with how I think about this stuff. I see the occasional gay sub-guy pop up, but they comprise the smallest slice of My People. And finally, there are those who find me completely unappealing on a sexual level, but love my writing.