Questions and Answers

Is it possible to be “ too nice” to become an effective Dom ? I’m new to the kink life and I’m having a hard time with it ..

I was too nice. I got over it.

Will you? I don’t know. I eventually realized that a certain kind of girl will always be drawn to me, and saying “no” to them has never made anyone happy… so I stopped writing things off as “wrong” and instead began learning how to use wretched tools to craft meaningful ends.

“No” is often noble, but it is seldom a kindness. Some day you may decide you’d rather be kind than be right. And then it’ll be on you to be the best version of whatever fucked-up thing you’ve become.

But y’know what? You may not. And that’s a fine thing… there’s nothing bad about being a decent human being with a grounded ego and gentle sexual tastes. If that’s who you are inside, be that guy!

And that’s the crux of the thing, really. Where is the “nice” coming from? Is it coming from a core of sweetness and care and civility, or is it coming from your fear of what might really be at your core?

It’s worth finding out.