But is there a time when the dominant should use the safe word because they are uncomfortable? There have been times when I feel uneasy or think I’m going too far but they seem to be enjoying it. How do you view the dominant’s role within the scope of the safeword discussion?
I’ve pondered it, and I just can’t identify with the impulse. If I’m uneasy doing something, I stop doing it… whether or not someone else is enjoying it is irrelevant. I’m the captain of the ship, and if I cut the engines, we go full-stop.
But then, I’m a very specific sort of person: I don’t fuck around casually, for example, nor do I mess with the kind of girl who would want her transitory pleasure to loom larger than my comfort.
So while I don’t get it, I don’t see anything wrong with you safewording out of a scene… you know your situation best. Maybe you’re talking about partners you’ve met on Tinder and thus lack some of the trust you need, or perhaps you’re into a type of girl who gets caught up in the moment and won’t automatically acknowledge that you’re struggling. Who knows, you could simply be the kind of person who pushes his own limits a bit too hard sometimes, and needs to know a quick sanity-check is an option.