I’ve been in relationships where the level of violence was very low —the occasional ass- or tit-smack and a little choking— but even then, the specter of violence lingered. I didn’t need to hurt her, but I had the option.
And that would be the necessity: the option. There’s a lot of heinous, depraved things I would never do because the damage would be unjustifiably extensive or they just don’t interest me, but you can be sure that I reserve the right to do those awful things as I see fit.
As the Soviets and America learned in the ‘70s and ’80s, it’s not what you do… it’s what you can.