Questions and Answers

Friend of mine theorised that people who are very assertive and outgoing in day to day life…

…like to be dominated in bed, whilst the quite ones (indeed, the ones you least suspect) tend to take charge during sex. What do people think to that? I’m not entirely convinced personally, but still, interesting theory

(submitted by: @Anonymous)

That’s a version of the standard sales pitch we always hear from media-savvy pro-dommes who are periodically dropped in front of a local TV news camera to comment upon the apparently incomprehensible existence of male submissives. They yammer on about how submission is essentially a work-life balance thing for Type As, which soothes the gormless audience’s innate disgust with weak men and its innate jealousy of strong men.

But that’s always been just one slice of the whole spectrum of colorful calamities and calculated causations that make us fucked up. Most public faces aren’t masks; human beings generally try to show you who they are, and dare you to look. Without question, clever compartmentalizers who lead double lives do indeed exist, but they’re hardly the majority.