(submitted by: @Anonymous)
if your sub was assaulted, and as such developed a trauma toward certain things you particularly liked (choking or anal or restraints, etc), how would you handle that? My dom is trying to be understanding, but I feel like a terrible sub and I can see he gets frustrated by such limitations
The kind of girl who pursues me tends to find trauma arousing in retrospect, so after giving her a break for an emotional refractory period, I’d eventually return to the specific activity and carefully reintroduce it into her life. Chances are, neither of us would be content allowing an aggressive interloper to permanently rob us of a piece of our relationship. (I attract a stubborn brand of bitch.)
If none of that were possible, and the activity in question was a trivial amusement, I’d just drop it.
If none of that were possible, and the activity in question was particularly important to me, we would start searching for alternatives or compensations that would allow her to continue to serve me with the dedication and devotion I deserve.
Whatever the case, I’d put a stop to any “terrible sub” bullshit that might be building up in her brain. The only “terrible sub” I’ve ever seen was someone who stopped giving a shit… someone for whom both the action and the psycho-spirituality of submission had lost their meaning. Even if her newfound limitations proved to be insurmountable issues, I wouldn’t accept that sort of thinking in our mutual and individual narratives… I might find 1,000 creative ways to shame a girl, but I’m not letting her take the blame for an outsider.
She’s my sacrificial lamb.