(submitted by: @Anonymous)
If you had to move to another country which one would you want to live in the most?
England. My cult would have already raised a temple in my name if I lived in such a land, where girl-shaped shame-magnets can be found every few miles in every direction.
While I’m thinking about it, let me now take this opportunity to thank British Fatherhood as a whole for its many lifetimes of stalwart service in furnishing me with a perpetual flow of sexually desperate, love-starved, man-pleasing, pillow-humping daddy’s girls. Your daughters are endlessly disappointing, but they’re plentiful, pathetic, and thanks to you, acutely aware that they just aren’t good enough. My hat is off to you, good sirs, for your fine craftsmanship. You don’t so much raise your girls as start them rolling down a snowy mountaintop and then take credit for the resulting snowball, but not the inevitable avalanche.
But that’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’ll dig ‘em out and bring ’em back to life.
And then, well, y’know… finders, keepers.