Do you think that 24/7 power exchange dynamics, with proper communication and breaks, is obtainable without codependency?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
It really depends on how you view 24/7.
For some people, 24/7 means a constant, active state of control… whether awake, asleep, or chained to the ceiling, she’s submitting and generally deprived of any meaningful authority in all aspects of life. I’d say there’s pretty much zero chance of avoiding codependency in that case, since making the sub utterly dependent on the dom is the whole point… if she’s capable of functioning without him, they’re probably doing it wrong.
For some people, 24/7 means ambient control… dominance by the system. The dom establishes a rule structure —perhaps baroque, perhaps minimalist— that the sub uses to guide all of her decision making. She’s leveraging her intellect —such as it is— and skills in the furtherance of his agenda, according to his plan, using his methods. Does she become dependent? If the rules are focused primarily on his very particular or peculiar needs, then yeah, possibly. If they’re focused on making her a better girl in a more general way, then the rules will remain useful even if the man doesn’t… in which case, I don’t think codependency will be a problem.
And then there’s 24/7: Surprise Edition. Which is how I think of a 24/7 where it’s understood that most things are… not quite normal, exactly, but where the dynamic simmers rather than boils, and is thus camouflaged. Until he changes things. Until he flips a switch and the world turns upside down for her, in the blink of an eye. The whole thing requires people with either a Lennon-McCartney kind of mind-meld, or an uncommon aptitude for context-switching. And I’d be surprised to see codependency becoming one of the primary problems in the relationship.
As someone who exists somewhere between ambience and surprise, I assume a degree of emotional dependency is inevitable… girls who fall in love with me don’t fall out easily. If ever. But they’re all capable of taking care of themselves like big girls when they’re on their own.
More or less.
But they fucking hate it.