I’m a little on the chubby side and my boyfriend has repeatedly put me down, I’ve been trying my best to lose weight, exercising and eating right but today he brought diet pills and I cried for hours, you’re into the degrading world and I’ve been in it for a while but this seems to be too much and when I talk to him about he says it’s only apart of the humiliation community and that I should loosen up, is it really?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
First: [hug].
(That’s what it looks like when old men hug you.)
Second: No, you know what? I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to bump that [hug]. I promise we’ll try to work it in at the end.
Ahem.
First: fuck that kid with a pointy stick. If someone is doing intensely sadistic things to you, do not accept any explanation for his behavior that is founded even tangentially on the wholly imaginary norms of something wholly imaginary like “the humiliation community”.
Two: never mind about the sticks, that’s too limiting. Fuck him with the fury of whatever metaphor seems most apt.
Three: “Loosen up?” Say the fuck what?
Look, it’s one thing for him to use degradation —even the harshest sort— to steer you toward a goal. If that’s your deal, that’s your deal. But objectively, the mechanisms y’all are monkeying with are powerful, and can lead you down dark corridors. It can get profoundly scary. “Loosen up” is a succinct way of telling you that he doesn’t get that, and wouldn’t respect the extent of your suffering if he could survey it.
Protip: if your best is never acknowledged and your worst always is, no one here is trying to make you better. Thou shalt not be Venus in the hands of this man, dear child; ‘tis but rubble for thee.
With that said…
I’m sure you love him and it was uncomfortable hearing me say mean things about him before. I’m sorry. I was perhaps a smidge nasty.
But still. Y’know. He’s… I dunno. The best case scenario is that he’s a master gaslighter who is feeding you multivitamins in diet pill bottles and privately recording himself beating off to the ten photos of you that you hate the most, just so he can make you watch said recordings the day you reach your goal weight.
So, does that sound like him? Are you dating a sadistic genius who’s playing three-dimensional chess with your sense of self? Or are you dating a deliberately oblivious and apparently lazy dickhead who thinks i-likes-rapin-the-wimmens1733 is an authority on anything?
Give it a thunk, y’know?
Oh. Wait. You left this.
[hug]