Hi Mr B, I’m kind of in this weird situation and I didn’t know who to ask or what to do, but you always seem to give out the best and most thought out advice. So I wanted to get your thoughts on this and what I should do.
There is a guy I’m kinda into. He is married but things are complicated and weird between him and his wife but he told me he still loves her. He also told me he loves me and when I asked him in what way he said in a way he hasn’t felt in so long. I believed him when he said it but now I’m feeling stupid, it feels like he is just using me for my body and sex and I’d never amount to anything with him. What do you think it is?
Thank you <3
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Longform responses are a struggle for me right now thanks to my hand, so I’m going to take a shot at brevity.
This is a guy who makes you feel as if you’ll never amount to anything. With a complicated and weird marriage. And he’s saying “I love you”. Forget questioning his sincerity… let’s question your own.
So… what the hell are you doing? If everything goes perfectly, this is going to be a difficult relationship, and you’re only “kinda into” it. It doesn’t sound as if you’re ready for the emotional investment that will be necessary. Why are you even considering it? If he isn’t absolutely perfect for you, then it won’t be worth it, and if he were absolutely perfect, you wouldn’t be asking me about it.
So yeah, I’m afraid feeling stupid is probably warranted. Because even if “a way he hasn’t felt in so long” isn’t generic manshit and he’s actually sincere, you’re not going to stop feeling used and worthless. Truth will not insulate you from that kind of cold.
Granted, you’re talking to me, so maybe “used” and “worthless” are up your alley. But it doesn’t sound that way.