More of a vent than an ask but I’d love to hear your input if you have one
There’s this guy that is pursuing me for a while now, but I don’t know how I feel about him. I said exactly that, and he told me it was fine, but he keeps pushing and I’m still confused and now he seems to be getting frustrated and I don’t know what to do. I think I might be aro or ace or something (I told him that as well) but I like porn so idk aaaa
(submitted by: Anonymous)
The main thing to do —and it isn’t easy— is to stop giving him reasons and give him an answer: no. Even if it’s mostly “no, for now,” you’ve got to get that “no” across.
When you tell someone “I’m confused” or “I might be asexual”, you think you’re establishing boundaries and clearing space for you to think, but to his eyes, you’re actually just putting up attractively arranged hurdles with a sign next to them reading “IF YOU REALLY LIKED ME, YOU’D JUMP OVER THESE”.
You’ve got to treat guys the way old school journalists wrote the news: your opening sentence should summarize the whole story and highlight the most vital facts, while the rest is for quoting and citing and fleshing things out. In contrast, you’re doing what they used to call “burying the lede”… you’re hiding the real point you’re making within a bunch of non-essential detail and elaboration.
If you put a bowl in front of me, and tell me it contains shrimp, mussels, and calamari, what is it? Is it a shrimp soup with some other flavors? Is it a bowl of mussels in a seafood broth? Is it a bouillabaisse? You’re the chef: tell me what I should be tasting, and what it means to you.
Name your soup, girl.