If you could be anywhere, doing exactly what you want to be doing – where & what, would that be? What’s your dream scenario?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
I want a modest commune in a legal-weed state, where the broken and profane work the grow-houses during the day, and worship at night.
There should be ample grazing land for a small herd of cows and a horse or two. (Some of the cattle may have human DNA.) Close enough to a city for convenience, not so close that people wander up. A barn for the critters, and a rough-hewn and ill-maintained bunkhouse for the girls who don’t quite measure up. (Sadly, this will be the largest structure.)
The main house should have a half-dozen bedrooms, where those who have earned their place can live and be of direct service. (Or give way to the occasional favored guest.) I’ll write during the day, and minister privately to those in need. A smoking jacket may be involved. Possibly a purple toga. (I’ll put my outfit coordinator on it.)
At night, the tribe will gather in a garden designed to look like the set of Love Island, and I will mingle among my slaggy, perverted acolytes, regale them with sad stories and pretty lies, and bless each one with a touch of my hand. Also, the last one to say “not it” is my toilet for the evening as we retire to the Theater Room.
(Which is an orgy room with a giant screen and a “SHUT UP YOU LOUD-ASS WHORES, I’M WATCHING SOMETHING HERE” sign I can light up with a remote. There will be Squid Game-esque consequences for flouting the sign.)
If you’re not invited to Evening Services, everyone will be encouraged to call you “Leftover” until you cry.
Hm… we would of course need a chef… a doctor or a nurse… a driver/courier… a housekeeper… goddammit, even my fantasies are complicated…
So let it be written, so let it be done.