Questions and Answers

I made a big mistake. I feel horrible. Everyone thinks I’m an irresponsible idiot.…

I made a big mistake. I feel horrible. Everyone thinks I’m an irresponsible idiot. It was an accident. I’m having a hard time forgiving myself let alone dealing with all the judgment. How do I deal with this with this with integrity?

(submitted by: Anonymous)

Here’s the thing: it’s the job of those around you to tell you how your actions have harmed or worried them. It’s their job to protect themselves from your mistakes. It’s their job to be skeptical.

But you have a special job that’s all your own: do better.

Let them think they need to think, even if it makes you sad or frustrated… you can’t dwell on that. Nothing you say is going to magically assuage their fears. You can’t prove anything with promises.

All you can do is the work. The work of being wiser, more careful, and more considerate. Do a little of it every single day. Your results won’t be noticed at first… accept it, and keep going. Take pride in the tiny triumphs no one else can see, even as they’re saying things that bring you low. Let the invisible wins pile up.

Because before you know it, they’re gonna see. Not the work; that will remain obscure to them. What they’ll see is the pride. Your visible and genuine self-respect will change their minds and hearts more thoroughly than any penance you’ll ever pay.