Have you ever had a girl that was/is wildly uncomfortable with kissing? Relating to past trauma or they were just uncomfortable with it? How did you guys work past it, if they wanted to?
No, I’ve never been with someone who had an aversion to kissing.
But rest assured, anyone bringing a discomfort to me is fully expecting to move past it.
Ah, see, here’s something people may not understand. And while I have no idea about the anon, I can only speak for myself….kissing is a hard limit. I still have scenes, I still accept and give affection, but kissing is not something I for see myself “moving past” anytime soon. For my Dom to have that expectation after clearing communicating it’s a hard limit and it’s reasons, would be a gigantic red flag.
I can’t tell if this is a response based on the persona you’ve built up, as I’ve followed you for quite some time now. Should it be a soft limit, this response you’ve posted is acceptable and I have no issues at all. This spoke to me because of my personal experience and I felt the need to add my say in it as well
Thoughts:
- Discomfort isn’t a dealbreaker. Or if it is, you’re hanging out in the wrong neighborhood. We’re all about discomfort around here.
- I can see how you could reasonably leap from what he said to where you landed, but I didn’t personally infer a dealbreaker from the anon’s question. It’s entirely possible I gave him too much credit, but some days I prefer not to think all dudes are automatic shitheads.
- So… yeah. If you tell someone you can never touch peanuts because you’ll die, and he acts like that’s something he can “fix”, then that’s more than just a red flag. That’s a sign you’re hooking up with an idiot. Don’t do that.
- Meanwhile, if he’s an actual peanut farmer, then your allergy is an incompatibility, not a challenge, and should be treated as such.
- For that matter, if you’ve followed me for quite some time, you should know by now I don’t do challenges. I’m not interested in overcoming anyone’s anything. You bring your mess to my table and ask me to make something of it, or I don’t mess with your mess. I have zero interest in changing someone who doesn’t want to change… inherent futility aside, the world is far too full of people who actually long to be different, and I have no time for those who don’t.