bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls:

littleshakespeareanbaby:

Father says I have rhino skin because I don’t bruise easily but he told me not to worry: it just means he’ll have to hit harder next time

Maybe less “rhino” and more “triceratops”.

I didn’t know this had survived The Purge!

Seriously, her skin is like .01% adamantium, mithryl, and vibranium. The only decent bruises she developed were from my fists and the buckle of her mom’s belt. Everything else? Itty-bitty nothing marks. You could barely tell I’d been there. And I didn’t phone it in… my whipping arm was tired.

I figured out that the key is to just punch her. It sets the right tone, and entertainingly, she drops like a sack of over-educated root vegetables.

Girls always remember the marks you make with your hands.