not sure when it started happening but i suddenly noticed my boyfriend has completely taken over what food i eat. he tells me what to cook and when we go out to eat he orders for me. i really like it! i get so stressed out when i have to make decisions. now i just need to convince him to tell me what to wear every day and stuff like that and i’ll be golden. any advice?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
My advice is to sit him down and find out what the fuck is up.
The kind of relationship you’re contemplating isn’t something you just let happen… he should be able to look you in the eye and claim all that he’s taking from you. If he’s got a plan, he can articulate it… and if he doesn’t, you should expect him to craft one. I get the desire to allow a dynamic to develop organically, but at some point a conversation needs to be had.
RE: “I just need to convince him to tell me what the wear…”
No, you need to convince him to tell you what he wants. Maybe he doesn’t actually desire that level of control. Maybe you’re misinterpreting his behavior, or he’s unaware of what he’s doing. Trust me, it’s way hotter when he’s an intentional tyrant… encourage him to glory in it.
And in the process, y’know… talk about this shit.
Stern warnings aside, though? Best of luck!