hisblossom:

i’m happiest in denial

the aching, empty sensation that builds over weeks of edging.

having to rip my hands away at the very last second once, and then 2, 3, 4 times in a row… my eyes roll back, I forget to breathe, and whines of “no, no, stop,” come out of me when I get close.

“no, no, no!” chastising myself holds the edge for longer, keeps me from going over, and then I keep rubbing. For Him.

by the end of every ordeal I’m barely coherent, my mind is blank, my limbs are jelly, I’m shaking, still thrusting against nothing in the wake of the loss of stimulation, and a sense of overwhelming need settles in; a blend of desperation, devotion, gratitude, loss, longing…and utter fulfillment.

Satisfaction at a job well competently done, a purpose partially fulfilled.

sometimes I cry, but always I’m grateful. In those moments I feel like I’m high on denial, I never want to cum again – I don’t deserve to anyway.

And so I rub some more. I rub until I only know Him, I only see Him, I only feel Him.

Can you believe i’m lucky enough that he allows me to violate his property this way?

Some will say that a cunt like you shouldn’t enjoy pleasure. That’s silly. Pleasure’s fine… it’s completion you don’t deserve. Because while you make an acceptable hole, you’re not much of a whole.

You’re a fraction of a girl.

The least and most common of denominators.