Questions and Answers

Is being single a prerequisite for being yours?Would you ever be interested in a…

Is being single a prerequisite for being yours?

Would you ever be interested in a girl who’s got other men in her life, who are perfectly aware of her dedication to you and content to laugh and shake their heads about it?

(submitted by: Anonymous)

Yes, it’s a prerequisite.

Of course, as with most of my prerequisites, I make occasional exceptions. (Blossom, for example, has an “outside” relationship. Hi, Domi!) But exceptions are always in some way exceptional… whatever follows “I have another relationship, but” had better impress the hell out of me.

And given all that’s involved in this sort of dedication, I suspect “a girl who’s got other men” —plural— would be kidding herself if she thought those guys would laugh and shake their heads. Unless she’s dating Subby McCuck and his buddy Bootlicker J. Sissypants, they’re likely to balk at me truncating her sex life, putting up cameras in her home, tracking the GPS on her phone, accessing her (joint?) bank accounts, or generally deciding where she lives and what she does.

Once I’ve had my fill, there’s not much left but scraps.