How do you manage multiple relationships, including your girls/sisters, online chats, live in partners at the same time? Making sure everyone needs are fulfilled relationship wise if you’re their main partner, managing jealously, managing your own self care/well being and time to yourself?
No judgement at all, just super curious? I’m dabbling with someone who is poly and has a lot of communication with other girls and I’m trying to have an open mind about it all, rather than thinking ‘omg I’m just some generic kinky girl/we must all merge into one in his mind’.
l mean your girls all rave about so must be doing an excellent job!
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Simple answer?
- I’m most definitely “primary” in every conceivable way, but I’m not sure “partner” captures the nature of my relationship with the girls. I’m not a boyfriend or significant other or even a dad… I’m their purpose. I’m their faith; the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. I fulfill their greatest needs simply by existing… the rest is covered by listening, and caring what becomes of them.
- All humans experience fleeting moments of jealousy; a girl who wants an ongoing place in my life will learn not to stretch those moments beyond their natural lifespans.
- The self-care thing… is a work in progress. It helps that all the girls are acutely aware of how many people need me in their lives, and try to ease my load whenever possible. But I’m still learning to relax my grip and allow them to help… to me, saying “hey, you, handle this for me” is too often an option of last resort.
- Do your lovers, siblings, parents, children, and friends merge into one in your mind? Or are they distinct entities who each relate to you differently, in ways both profound and subtle?
- If a guy is making you feel generic, you definitely have a problem, but it isn’t polyamory.
- I actually think I can improve greatly when it comes to “doing an excellent job”… so I guess they rave despite my flaws, because my natural baseline is still better than anything they’ve ever known.