You talk about your coworker’s husbands hating you. I’m taking this as you being generally charming and attractive (or maybe you got incredibly lucky and chanced upon a den of very good girls). Do you have any advice for being like that? Generally charming? Hated by spouses?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Hm.
- The hubbies did indeed despise me, but as I said, it wasn’t entirely because of me. Their wives were all 10-20 years older than me, and would go home at night talking about something I said or did that day… or worse, make a point of calling me “about work” in front of their husbands, usually right after a fight. If my co-workers had kept their mouths shut, their men wouldn’t have had a problem with me.
- Well, most of them. Some of them were wholly entitled to their resentment. I only fucked one of the wives, but there was plenty of groping and crotch-grinding and general inappropriateness going on.
- I was charming, I suppose, but not necessarily in ways anyone would want to emulate. I was a self-deprecating virgin, for example, while they were mostly married moms. And while, yes, I was an unquestionably horny, hetero kid, it was easy to see me as “just one of the girls”… they didn’t feel like they had to censor their conversations about womanstuff around me. I threaded a very weird needle to win their trust.
- I was not attractive. I suppose I wasn’t ugly, but there was nothing hot about me.
- I’m sure luck was a factor. But I’d say it was a collection of very normal, late-80s/early-90s women, all of whom I treated like individuals. Some of them were married and devoted… they liked to laugh at my jokes and watch my antics, but they didn’t want anything more. I respected that. Some of them were married but frustrated, so I flirted and offered and took “no” for an answer. Some of them were married to a loser they’d grown to despise, and they got what they needed to remind themselves that there was more to life than misery. None of them ever hesitated to be alone in a room with me, because they all knew their comfort was important to me.
- As for general advice…? Respect them and their particular lives. Be satisfied with whatever they offer… first because it’s the decent thing to do, second because other women are watching to see how gracefully you accept every embrace and rejection. Recognize that intimacy is more than friction, and has its own value… never make a woman feel like she’s wasted your time with non-sexual vulnerability. Touch the ones who want to be touched, and don’t touch the rest. Remember that your jokes aren’t jokes if the audience feels ignored rather than included. Learn to apologize like a grown-up. And when they give you the green light, hit the fucking gas.