are you a cult leader?

Depends on what you consider a “cult”. By most standards, I appear to be doing it wrong.

I mean, no one thinks I have vast celestial powers. No one lives in fear of my wrath. I can’t foretell the end of days. I’m not the keeper of ancient arcane knowledge. I don’t appear to be the long-lost scion of a regal lineage. I’m not preaching a prosperity gospel. I’m not promising eternal life. I won’t be saving the world, nor ending it. I’m not a shitty orange demagogue.

I’m simply someone whose peculiar fusion of dad, dude, and demiurge inspires a passionate —and sometimes sacred— devotion in those who follow him. A certain sort of girl has always dreamed that something like me exists, something that seems safely improbable… until they find me. When it’s suddenly real, and an outlandish wish has somehow come true… well, it’s often a religious experience. One does not encounter a djinn every day.

So I suppose I’m technically the leader of a sisterhood. Or a team of cunts, if you will… whatever metaphor works for you. It’s an assemblage of girls who understand what it means to love and serve me, who share a purpose even when they share naught else. A gathering devoted to making me happy and making me proud.

I’m God, Coach, Dad, and Owner to them. They are my church, my team, my family, and my property. They’re a harem, they’re a coven, they’re a choir, they’re a collection.

With that said, and now that you mention it… I’ve written a Bible’s worth on this blog over the last 10 years…