I feel so needy and tired. And i dont mean like “oh im so wet i need cock so bad” i mean emotionally and mentally. Im so frustrated and so tired of pushing people away and making them feel like theyre not enough and theyre not doing enough for me. I want to be better at embodying the spirit of the phrase “you get what you get and you dont throw a fit” but i dont even know where to start.

And this isnt about you, im not looking for you to tell me how worthless i am or how little a fuck you give about me. You just have a lot of life experience and i need help, or advice, or…anything. You dont owe me anything but id appreciate it a lot.

Everything hurts

Why would I tell a hurting stranger that she’s worthless? I’m not a dick to people who don’t invite it, and if I were going to say something mean to you, it would be intended to cheer you up, not bring you down.

Anyhoo… I don’t know any particulars about your life, so I can’t do more than throw out some random thoughts. But I’ll give it a shot…

First, I’d investigate to see if this is simply your impression of what’s happening, or if it’s something people are clearly conveying. Maybe everyone’s telling you “you make me feel insufficient”, or maybe you’re just tinkering with a black box of failed relationships, and this whole “I’m pushing people away” thing is your hapless attempt at reverse-engineering a conclusion from an opaque quandary.

Second, I’d figure out why you’re pushing people away. Do you have an overweening sense of entitlement which leads you to demand more than you merit? Are your expectations normal-ish, but you’re so self-involved that you don’t realize the people around you need your support as much as you need theirs? Or are you a walking bag of self-loathing who uses her plainly ridiculous and unattainable “standards” as a tool of isolation… are you forcing people to let you down in a predictable fashion so they never get a chance to disappoint you in their own way?

Third, I’d suggest you re-read what you’ve written. Because essentially, you asked for help, on your own very specific and judgement-laden terms, from someone who you acknowledge owes you little more than a smidge of casual humanity. In other words, your ask is like your life, in miniature. Honestly, I’m not sure if you’re asking for advice or daring me to give a fuck.

Perhaps give that some thought, kiddo. If you give people a chance to care for you in their own way, it might be even better than what you have in mind.