You’re not the dom I want. I cant be with someone whos not ok with me being with anyone else, I don’t actually have any interest in submitting fully, I dont want to play with piss or have sex that makes me feel gross, and I definitely don’t want to be with someone that would view me as a toy without first recognizing my autonomy as their partner or teammate.

But there are specific things about you/your dom style that are very appealing to me. I like how you care for your girls like it’s your duty to protect them, I like how it seems you feel equally responsible for providing them with the enrichment (sadism) they need, I like that you seem to have a tendency to educate others (intentionally or not), and I like that you have visibility into every part of your girls lives.

Thank you for helping paint a clearer picture of what I need and want from a dom.

If you have any advice on how to further solidify that picture and possibly come to realize exactly what I want and need I would really appreciate it

It’s good to know what you don’t want, and even better to learn what you do. I’m proud of you.

I don’t know if I have any cogent advice, but I can summon some random thoughts about some of the attributes you’ve mentioned… but bear in mind that I’m not trying to dispute your conclusions. I’m just pondering.

RE: being with anyone else

It depends on the nature of the relationship. If I intend to fuck you or bind you to me in perpetuity, no, I won’t accept any kind of extracurricular “being”. (We keep it in the family, thanks.) But I see ownership in other terms as well… there are girls I own who —with permission— have other entanglements; some physical, some not. If everyone benefits and I’m not impeded… why not?

RE: without first recognizing my autonomy

If recognition is the important bit, that’s easy… I can’t take it away if I can’t see it. And from what I’ve seen, losing your independence is hotter when your independence has been actively exerised.

RE: duty to protect them

It’s a shepherd’s job to steer the flock out of harm’s way. Why would you do anything else? Who wants to leave their charges to the wolves?

RE: tendency to educate

I just think aloud. Or with a keyboard. I’m always teaching myself something as I talk. I’m often as surprised by the conclusion as anyone else.

RE: visibility into every part

I feel like this conflicts a lot with the “submitting fully” thing. I have a 360 degree view into their private worlds because I need one… they’ve given me the license to do as I please with their lives, and I’ll do more harm than good if I can’t see what I’m touching.

I’m not saying that an all-seeing, no-curtains, comprehensive-transparency-thing requires a concomitant loss-of-agency-thing. But they’re two great tastes that taste great together.

RE: thank you

You’re very welcome, nice person.